NATIONWIDE APPEAL FOR MY BAG May 27, 2016 10:07

If anyone has seen a brown, over the shoulder man bag with a copy of the latest Private Eye, a banana, a satsuma, some house keys, an iPod, an iPad and some Amazon voucher receipts in it, please contact me IMMEDIATELY.

It was last seen in the fucking DJ BOOTH at Red Market last night, and if I don't get it back soon I'm going to smash this entire website up, I'm going to smash whatever screen it is you're reading this on and then I'm going to drag you into the device and boot the fuck out of you and put you in hospital.

I'm going to buy a Hotflush Recordings t-shirt to cheer myself up now. This one; the Full Circle (white on grey) for only £20.00. I'm going to click on this link here and buy it now.

HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.

Tx