On Prince April 25, 2016 09:34

< > I wonder how many nightclubs didn't play Prince this weekend.

< > My favourite Prince song is the one where he gets a blowjob off of a virgin who's on her way to get married. After he does a Clinton all over her wedding gown, she marries Prince instead! LOLoutLOUD.

< > My dad bought me that triple-CD, The Hits, when I was about 13. I liked it, so I started listening to his Purple Rain LP on our old record player. My favourite bit on Purple Rain is when I Would Die 4 U transitions into Baby I'm A Star. When I got older - about 17 or 18 - I pictured myself doing a cover of that song (Baby I'm A Star) as a proper rock star with my fantasy punk funk electro house band, Tonka and the Rockers. Sadly, that dream did not come true.

< > Everyone bangs on about the Purple Rain film, but for my money, Sign O' The Times shits all over Purple Rain. I like that bloke in Prince's band who wears a pair of glasses with black curtain trims hanging down off of the top of the frames. How he can see what he's doing is anyone's guess!

< > I like everyone on social media these last few days trying to outdo everyone else by claiming the most obscure B-sides and out-takes are their favourite Prince songs when we all know his best one is Moonbeam Levels.

< > My third favourite Brits moment ever was when The Artist Formally Known As Prince appeared at the 1995 award ceremony with 'SLAVE' written on his cheek with a black marker pen. Later on in the evening, Blur were picking up an award and Dave Rowntree had the name, 'DAVE', written on his cheek with a black marker pen.

< > My second favourite Brits moment was when Prince shat all over everyone else who played that night at the 2006 Brits, even KT Tunstall. I watched it in my then Muswell Hill party pad with Draper, who wasn't that bothered about Prince.

< > I've never been able to get my head around how mind-bogglingly unreal the drum pattern is on Ballad of Dorothy Parker. On top of that drum pattern you've got some mind-bogglingly surprising lyrics to what you think is going to be a standard meet-and-fuck song. Buy Sign O' The Times and listen to it.

< > At the time of its release, I fucking hated that Prince-penned Sinéad O'Connor song, Nothing Compares 2 U. In the last ten or fifteen years though, I've matured and grown to fully appreciate its beauty. Nothing Compares 2 U is now one of my favourite songs of all time. It's fucking gorgeous, and it really does make you cry if you're in that frame of mind and you're paying attention to the lyrics.

< > We'll all be listening to Prince until we're dead, and that's my official Prince article.