Fun Time Friday V July 01, 2016 12:28
Every fortnight, you get a dose of dance-themed laughter on the Hotflush blog. Every fucking fortnight.
Q. How lucky are you?
A. Luckier than Boris Johnson. Eh? You are though, aren't you? Because he was the favourite to take over from David Cameron until Michael Gove declared his interest in the position of Prime Minister. LOLoutLOUD
That was the first joke of this week's Fun Time Friday, and I'm sure you'll all agree that it was a cracker. Right, on with the rest.
< > What do you get if you cross a dancefloor with a load of people on ecstasy? A nightclub! PMSL
< > Do you remember when pills were about fifty quid? LOLOLOLOLO ;o)
< > Ten Walls walks into a bar and says to the barman, he says, "Barman. Why are you dressed as a clown and sticking your tongue out at me?" The barman calmly took a shot glass, filled it up with lager from one of the optics and, ignoring the question, said, "Ten Walls. How do you fancy playing some records here next Monday morning? I can't pay you, but you can have six drinks tokens and we'll put your name on the same flyer as Seth Troxler, Helen Alien, Clive Henry and Tania Volcano. Give you a bit of cred, mate."
Ten Walls slapped down a tenner on the bar and said, "Barman, that sounds great. I'll do it." The barman looks around at his mates a few times before cracking up. Everyone in the bar is laughing. Ten Walls says, he says, "What's so funny?" The barman takes his clown wig off, puts his tongue back in his mouth and goes, he says, "Ten Walls. I'm fucking joking and everyone is laughing at you now. Get out of my pub and keep learning your lesson, and even when you have learned your lesson we're not going to let you back into the pub anyway because, contrary to what we always say about forgiveness and acceptance in here when we're all on drugs, we'll never forgive or accept you in here again."
Ten Walls walks out of the bar as everyone starts laughing again, goes home and kills himself with a lump hammer. He caved his own skull in, ladies and gentlemen! ROFLOFL
< > Here's a good one. You'll like this one, boys and girls. An Englishman, a Pakistani and a Jew walk into Panorama Bar. One by one they get stopped by the bouncer for not wearing black t-shirts. No, hang on, they didn't walk into Panorama Bar because they got stopped for not wearing black t-shirts before they had a chance to be in there. That joke doesn't work. Sorry. MILFNUR
< > What's the deal with calling heroin 'smack'? It doesn't hurt like a proper smack. It feels amazing. ROLFLOL
I'm going to have to go now, everyone. I lost my confidence a bit on that Panorama Bar joke. I've had a lorra, lorra fun though, and I'll see you all next week for loads more #content.
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND.