Fun Time Friday VII July 29, 2016 09:30


Is this really the seventh Fun Time Friday? Fucking hell.

< > Did you know that Ebeneezer Goode by the Shamen was originally called, Drugs Are Good? It was. Draper told me. It was changed to Ebeneezer Goode when they appeared on Top of the Pops and Jimmy Savile refused to announce the original name of the track because it was in, "bad taste, boys and girls." Mr. C was so desperate to appear on the telly that he ceded to Great Britain's most celebrity successful paedophile on the spot. True story, that. LOLoutLOUD

< > What's the difference between Farr Festival and Farr, I mean, Farm Festival?

Farr Festival is a festival I couldn't go to because my mum and her cousin were visiting from Canada and Farm Festival is a festival I'm headlining TONIGHT with Kowton and Young Fathers. PMSL

< > Three young disabled Indian transexual bi-sexual lesbians wheel into Panorama Bar. One says to the other, "Sharmita, has Tonka even been to Panorama Bar to be making jokes about it?" Her mate goes, "I doubt it, love, but I don't think the jokes are actually aimed at Panorama Bar, per se. I see the Panorama Bar jokes as Tonka's very poor attempt at a Bernard Righton style of humour in a dance music context, you know what I mean?" The third one nodded her head. ROFLOFL

This has been a very poor week, ladies and gentlemen. Sorry. And the way Sharmita's mate exposed me in that last joke has really knocked my confidence, so I'm going to fuck off to the Ran$om Note HQ in Shoreditch now to meet up with my trendy mates. Only I'm headlining Farm Festival tonight with Tonka's MASSIVE QUESTIONS (in the Ran$om Note Working Men's Club tent), the excellent new pub quiz that is about to take Somerset by storm.