Newwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwws September 28, 2016 09:30

Donald Trump was on the American telly the other day having an argument with Hillary Clinton about who is the best person at being president. I'm not being funny, but America has already had a president called Donald, I think. They've NEVER had a president with a girl's name before. So, I reckon Hillary Clinton should be given a chance this time, it's only fair.

I wonder what kind of music Hillary Clinton likes. I bet she likes country and western music. They all do over there, don't they? Except for people in Detroit (they only like Detroit techno) and Chicago (they only like Chicago hou...Jesus fucking Christ, this might be the worst Wednesday news post I've ever produced. What am I doing with my life? I've lost sight of who Tonka is and what kind of writer he should be. This creation of mine has almost disappeared across the horizon. When did I drop off? When did I peak? Am I yet to hit my highest high, has my fall not yet been broken? At what point does Tonka end, and will anyone remember if I do? Ugh. I should have written about Sam Allardyce instead.

LOLoutLOUD. Anyone who listens to country and western music is fucking sad. No offence, Hillary! Donald Trump probably listens to one of them little fart machines on loop because his surname is Trump. Trump means to do a pump in England. What a stupid name. It's like being called, Kevin Bad-Eggs. No offence, Donald! ROFLOFL.

I'll be back tomorrow, gang! Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE and share these posts around the internet - this is all content that NEEDS to be seen by as MANY people as POSSIBLE.