Fun Time Friday II May 13, 2016 09:21

The last time I did a Fun Time Friday, Prince had just died and I didn't have the time to re-write what was, at best, a completely fucking inappropriate post for the social media climate on that Friday morning. As such, hardly anyone was interested in reading it and my hilarious, clubbing-based jokes got swamped underneath all of that purple grief.

Bless him. I'm not glad that he's dead, but I wish he'd just waited a couple of days before he did (die). It was a bloody good post.

Right, let's go again. Are you ready to laugh? I can't hear you. I said, are you ready to laugh? Ok...

< > An Englishman, an Irishman and a Jew walk into a nightclub. The Englishman says, "Why. Crikey. What a charming nightclub. I'm going to do three ecstasy E tablets tonight. What ho!" The Irishman says, "Catch yourself on, to be sure. I'm going to drop four ecstasy E tablets, so I am." The Jewish fella says, "Oy vey. If you two are sinking three and four, I'm going to top the lot of you and eat five ecstasy E tablets. Oy vey."

The following morning, the Englishman, the Irishman and the Jew were all at an after-party, jaws swinging all over the shop and talking bollocks. By 11am, they'd all lost count of how many pills, coke, mandy, ket and poppers they'd all done and, frankly, the sense of competition had dissipated the night before, as soon as they started coming up off of their first pinger! LOLoutLOUD

< > These two people have been in the news recently for EXTREMELY different reasons. Have a look at this picture though and tell me that Cliff Richard and Prince don't look EXACTLY like one another if you stand about five feet back and squint through a pair of sun glasses at just this particular picture of them. ROFLOFL

< > This funny video needs no explanation...or introduction! LOL IRL

< > Here's a joke I cheekily lifted from the internet after Googling the words, "hilarious nightclub jokes". Somebody call me a taxi, my sides have literally just split open! There are bones and blood everywhere! PMSLOUTLOUD

Fuck me, I'm dying here. LOL. I literally can't write any more funny things because the doctor said I might die of laughter. ROFLOFLOLOLOLOLOL