Tonka's Top Tunes On A Tuesday: Nostalgia May 24, 2016 09:30

Today, I'm looking at three songs that remind me of a time when I was young. Back in the day, these tunes were at the forefront of my mind whilst I did all those crazy things that EVERYONE does in their late teens and early-mid twenties. Yeah, remember when you used to smash up phone boxes, destroy bowling greens with your heels, piss through estate agent letter boxes, go bareback with strangers, piss down the back of your mate's legs in the pub, screech like a hyena outside your best mate's parent's bedroom as he gets back home after the pub, leave messages on your mate's voicemail pretending to be his recently deceased grandma begging him for help because she's being "raped in Hell" and leave garden boulders in the middle of the road on the way back from the club after a few too many turbo shandies (half a pint of lager and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in one pint glass)?

Thank fuck I got into e when I turned 23. You never do stuff like that on e. The government needs to crack down on turbo shandies, not ecstasy E tablets...! #RantOver

Sorry to get into politics there, ladies and gentlemen. Here are the tunes that remind me of being young:

Stevie Wonder wrote this song, although I've never heard him sing it. Michael Jackson definitely sings it though, well, he did sing it...he's dead now. He sang it on his Off The Wall album. This was the song I used to stick on before leaving the house after getting ready for a night out with the lads. I would cover myself in Versace Blue Jeans, groove around my box-room to I Can't Help It and visualise all of the chaos I was about to produce in Walsall Town Centre.

My mate, Evil Eddie, used to promise me that this song would be played at his funeral. He said he wrote it down in a special will that he drew up himself in Year 11 when he was planning one of his half-finished suicides. One year, he told me that he was going to top himself by walking into Merrion's Wood, near Great Barr, with an air rifle and firing a few shots up his nose. Did he heck as like!

He's still alive, but is thirty-five now and living with his parents and a crippling depression that makes it nigh-on impossible for him to form relationships of any kind. I do like to think that if he finally does pluck up the guts to kill himself though, his parents will have the decency to play Intergalactic as his body is cremated/lowered into the ground. It's what he would have wanted.

I saw the video of this song on the plane to Ibiza in 2002. It really harks back to a period in dance when the videos were fucking brilliant and fun. And had gorgeous birds in them. I didn't necessarily like the song itself, but the video got me in the mood for a Balearic week of sun-burn, Irish pubs, watching Only Fools and Horses in Irish pubs, pulling women from Norwich, pulling women from Glasgow, going to Manumission and wandering aimlessly around the beautiful, sun-kissed boulevards of San Antonio with a group of neanderthals who literally wanted to get drunk in an Irish pub and watch Only Fools and Horses every fucking day of the holiday.

And that was my Top Three Nostalgic Tuesday Tunes by me, Tonka. Join me tomorrow for another post on this brilliant website.