6th Week of Techno Review February 15, 2016 09:49

I went out on Saturday night because I was invited out and I like going out, so I went out. I went out down Soho for Scuba and Lando at Phonica Records; it was a Hotflush in-store party. I like going to them Phonica Records parties because you're allowed to bring your own alcohol. Have you seen the prices of a pint of Kronenbourg if you go to a bar in Soho? You're either getting about five pence change back from a fiver or delving embarrassingly back into your wallet for more money after wrongly thinking that five pounds would be more than enough to buy one pint of lager. At the Phonica Records parties, I always go to the off-licence on Poland Street and buy four cans of Kronenbourg (four pints worth) for roughly what you'd pay for one can/pint of lager in any of the surrounding bars.

So, there I was in Phonica Records knocking back can after can after can after can with a wicked smile on my face. I was giving other can-drinking revellers in the shop a cheeky grin and raising my can up with a wink. The atmosphere was so electric as Scuba DJed behind the counter like his heart depended on it. Everyone dancing and drinking cans of lager, drinking down lager at a fraction of the price of what the idiots in the Shakespeare's Head were paying. And didn't we know it!

I pushed arrogantly through the money-saving throng and approached Lando at the back of the shop, elevated above the crowd by a step. I broke the ice by asking him if he could guess how much I'd paid for four cans of lager. He didn't know, so I told him and then made an hilarious Lando Calrissian joke. He loved it. After that, I talked with a Scottish bloke called Scott before fucking off to Old Street to meet Draper. We were going to Scuba's SIXTH week of Techno at XOYO.

I honestly don't think I've been to a club as busy as XOYO on Saturday night since the time I went to see Chromeo at The End in about 2007. It was ramma-jamma. XOYO was so busy that all I was able to do was hand jive! If you've never hand jived to Paul Woolford playing a Depeche Mode song in a nightclub, you haven't lived. The rest of the night was brilliant, but I can't remember if my overall lager margin was blown away by the higher prices for cans of Heineken in XOYO, because I was absolutely fucking terminated by the time Scuba had come on.

In summary, then, if the next six Weeks of Techno are as good as this week just gone, you're in for a MASSIVE treat if you go to one of the remaining Weeks of Techno at XOYO (information and tickets here). I do worry about the void of Techno after this residency finishes though...

Scuba, Paul Woolford, Alan Fitzpatrick and Lando
12 Weeks of Techno at XOYO