12 Weeks of Techno: Eyes and Ears on the Ground / Week 8 March 02, 2016 08:18

On Monday night, I chewed on a gram of magic mushrooms and crawled through the display screen of my white Apple iPad 2 to search for Twitter handles that were screaming about having gone to last weekend's 12 Weeks of Techno night (sorry, Rothmans Ant). I was zooming around my Twitter app in a curled-up ball like Sonic the Hedgehog, bouncing into boring Tweets about American politics, knocking over boring Tweets about the upcoming European Referendum, crashing through boring Tweets about interracial bisexual BBW dominatrix cuckold mistresses in west Lon...oops, revealing my Following list there. Winking smiley face.

Anyway, before the effects of the magic mushrooms wore off, I tumbled into @chaneltalulah and fired the following questions at her profile pic. The answers were sent back via some strange Bluetooth airwaves that came from the back of her avatar through some electrical wires. How they got into my head, I'll never know.

Here's the transcript:

Q. What's your name and where do you come from?
A. My name's Chanel and I’m from London.

Q. What clothes and perfume did you wear for XOYO?
A. I wore a pink stripy turtleneck top and black wide-leg trousers. Totally going against the all black techno rule. My perfume was Burberry Brit.

Q. Did you pull?

A. Well, I went with my boyfriend...so I guess I did?

Q. Tune of the night?
A. Tune of the night would probably be Anti-Corporate Music by Levon Vincent. I haven’t been able to get it out of my head since!

Q. Stone cold sober or absolutely fucking terminated?
A. I was actually stone cold sober! It’s my dissertation deadline in a week so I couldn’t afford to suffer with the consequences of getting absolutely fucking terminated :-(

Q. Any funny anecdotes from the night?
A. Hmmm, I’m not too sure. I guess it was just really weird to see lots of drunk lads shouting "oi oi oi", and running round the dancefloor at a techno night. You get a mixture of everybody at XOYO! Some of those people probably didn’t know what they were in for. I’m just so used to seeing people absolutely spangled when listening to techno.

Q. What time did you leave the club?

A. We left at the end and headed to Fabric for the Resident Advisor night to continue the partying.

Q. Will you be going along to any of the other Weeks of Techno?
A. Unfortunately not :-( I would like to see Len Faki and Nina Kraviz do an extended set, but we’ve got other plans!

What a lovely young lady! Please join me in wishing her all the very best for her future endeavours and, if you've got a spare hour or two, spend it trawling through her brilliant blog: chaneltalulah.blogspot.co.uk - there's loads of nice pictures of clothes and models and holidays and stuff.

I'll be back tomorrow, I think, with another video blog. Not sure what I'll be yabbering on about yet though. Why not join me tomorrow to find out?

Join me.