Are You A Member? April 06, 2016 09:45

"Are you a member?"

Hold on! Stop right there. I'm not asking if you're a member in the phallic sense of the word, and I'm certainly not asking if you're a Member of Parliament with loads of Panama Papers falling out of your pockets. I'm asking if you're a member. You know? A member.

Are you a member?


"Are you in the family?"

Woah! Hold your horses. Before you think I've gone all Waco and am inviting you to join a suicide sex and death cult in Texas, where you'll be expected to poff my sledgehammer off before riding a communal magic carpet to our Lord Heavenly Jesus in Heaven, think again. All I'm doing here is asking if you're a member, if you're in the family. The Hotflush family...

...see? It's ok.

"Join the family and become a Hotflush Member."

- How, Tonka?

- Well, all you need to do is click on this link here and pay eight pounds worth of bearer bonds or, if you have the cash in your normal bank account, transfer eight pounds from there. Before you ask, THIS is what you get for that, frankly, measly amount of money:

  • 3D printed bronze neck chain
  • Access to all exclusive members events free of charge
  • +850MB of members only tracks and mixes spanning the past decade
  • Guest list opportunities for certain artist events

You can purchase your membership right here, and immediately access all digital content. Once you order, Scuba will personally add your name to the guest-list for membership events using his favourite fountain pen.