It's The Weeknd April 08, 2016 13:16

Thank fuck it's Friday. I don't know what you've got planned this weekend and, frankly, I don't really give a shit. These are just words on a screen. If we were sat in a pub and were mates and fucking hell, this bit's rubbish. Sorry.

To be honest, I'm still a bit depressed about the end of 12 Weeks and Techno, I mean 12 Weeks of Techno. Sorry, I can't even get my sentences down properly. I'm right down in the dumps, ladies and gentlemen. Maybe I did a few too many ecstasy E tablets last weekend down HOG and all. That might explain my mood this week. These Panama Papers are making me sad too. All the inequality in the world is enough to make anyone feel blue, aren't they?

I think I'll take a break and finish this week's Tonka's Week for Ran$om Note and come back to Hotflush when I'm feeling more inspired...! My brain cells are tingling now and it's all because of how imaginative I am! Whilst signing off this week's Tonka's Week on R$N with a really clever Panama Papers/Jamiroquai/Revolution reference that nobody else in modern literature/journalism will have thought to use I then got into a Jamiroquai YouTube wormhole and re-discovered a track I used to play before going out EVERY fucking weekend when I was in my late teens.

I know you all pretend to hate Jamiroquai, but fuck me, come on. Can you imagine being a teenage Tonka in Walsall, spraying loads of Versace Blue Jeans all over your neck and dancing to this song in your little box bedroom before a night of horror in Sofa Sofa, watching all your mates pull and walking back home on your own in the cold with a large kebab meat and chips with chilli sauce?