Dun Dun Dance Tunnel April 12, 2016 09:30

Disclosure: Dan Beaumont has supported my writing since 2011 and I think he's a fucking sound bloke.

Here's today's blog post:

"Dun dun dun, d-dd d d d. Dun dun dun, d-dd d d d. Dun dun dun, another one bites the dust. Dun dun dun, another one bites the dust."

So sang Freddie Mercury on Grandmaster Flash's seminal dance mix rap track, The Adventures of Grandmaster Flash on the Wheels of Steel. In 1981, Freddie was probably singing about the end of one of his flamboyant parties where he had loads of midgets with silver cocaine trays balanced on their heads serving up illegal drug highs to famous pop stars like Elton John, David Furnish, whoever they had a threesome with that they're now trying to stop everyone knowing about, loads of glamorous models and some "it" girls. Know what I mean?

If Freddie Mercury were to sing that song today, he'd probably be singing about the end of YET ANOTHER London nightclub venue closure (in London). News broke yesterday morning that Dance Tunnel in Dalston is being metaphorically filled in in August because they're not able to get a closing time extension out of Hackney Council. I can't imagine Dance Tunnel being a venue posh enough for Freddie Mercury to actually go to, to be honest, but I'm sure the closure of YET ANOTHER venue in London being given the V sign by local councils and Boris Johnson would be an issue Freddie would have at least shown some solidarity with. Yes, he was a raging Tory and unashamed capitalist, but he loved to party, and I know that if he were alive today he'd, sorry, I've not got the wherewithal or energy to carry this Freddie Mercury bit on. Sorry.

Anyway, Dance Tunnel still has at least four months of life left in it. There are a couple of petitions flying about you can sign. Give this one and that one a whirl if you reckon the people at the other end will give a fuck about granting a 5am licence if it's not going to financially benefit any of their business and luxury flat-building mates (bit of politics there, ladies and gentlemen).

Anyway again, as I said up there ^^^^^, Dance Tunnel still has at least four months of life left in it. If it really is the end, there's loads of good nights on between now and August. The bloke who runs the monthly Thunder night is a R$N mate of mine, so make sure you get along and support that one. Darkroom is good, and all. Have a look at the full Dance Tunnel listings here, but as the old saying goes; four months is a long time in entertainment venue licensing consultation periods.

Dance Tunnel might just carry on beyond August if enough people stop cyber crying and follow through their online goodwill with actual, real life petition-signing and local MP door-stepping. I'd contact Steve Pound, but I don't think he'd give a shit about a nightclub in Dalston.

So, in summary then, I don't know. Let's just keep living and breathing, eh?