CHRISTMAS COUNTDOWN - NUMBER 2 December 22, 2016 09:30

I can't wait for Christmas, so that I can stop doing this for a bit. Can you imagine what my brain looks like after 12 months of solid writing on here, plus a weekly 1000 words for Ran$om Note, and now a monthly pub quiz I'm having to fucking write? I'm mentally dead. Honestly, ladies and gentlemen, if it wasn't for the free entry to nightclubs, the money I get and the free coke and blow jobs I get in the VIP areas when I do go out, I wouldn't fucking bother with this anymore. I'd scrap Tonka in a heartbeat.

Right...number two...literally and metaphorically...

S Club Juniors - Sleigh Ride

Back when it was illegal to say you wanted to fuck Frankie Sandford out of The Saturdays. This song is fucking brilliant AND it's about Christmas; a perfect song for this type of Top 5 countdown.

Here it is, lads:

Number 1 tomorrow. Who's that going to be then, eh?

Nobody cares.

*thumbs up emoji*