The Friday Post August 19, 2016 10:14

Thank fuck it's Friday. I've got a right headache today, ladies and gentlemen. I went down Red Market for Andrew Weatherall and Justin Robertson. I attended the event with Shabs from Channel 4 Drugs Live and did about four UPS pingers with him. You just have to do drugs when you're with Shabs from Channel 4 Drugs Live, don't you? Bless.

Last Days of Shoreditch finished abruptly at 11pm, so I sprinted over to Oval Space for Kerri Chandler, Soul Clap, Bicep and Jeremy Underground in the Boiler Room. It's funny how fast you can run when you've done uppers. I always remember Robert Mason doing a few bumps of whizz during the year 10 sports day. The fat bastard was miles ahead of everyone else until he collapsed on the final 100 metre stretch of his 400 metre race. Nobody laughed at him because he was the cock of the year, but it was funny.

I can't remember what happened in the Boiler Room because I didn't actually go. I did say to the lovely lady who invited me that I'd pretend I went and big it up, though. I'm the nicest man in dance. I can't imagine Kerri Chandler, Jeremy Underground, Soul Clap and Bicep being a massive load of shit. It must have been fucking brilliant, so I can't wait to watch it when it's archived on their site.

I really am the nicest man in dance. God bless me.