Fun Time Friday Y2K September 30, 2016 13:29

Ugh. I almost forgot that I write a daily blog for Hotflush Recordings today, sorry. I'm a bit hungover. And scruffy. And tired. And gorgeous. Only, I was out at an exclusive clothing launch last night at Uniqlo on Oxford Street. Only, I was invited by my new best friend, Ivan Smagghe. Only, he was playing a back to back to back electro-clash set with Erol and he wasn't. He was playing some records of unknown genre with Nathan Gregory Wilkins. I got fucking hammered. Before drinking three bottles of free Prosecco in the shop, I'd had three pints in a Sam Smiths pub on Great Portland Street called The COCK. LOLoutLOUD. I'm laughing because it's called The Cock. Cock is another word for penis, which is a funny part of a man's body. MILFNUR.

Talking about cocks is a great segue into the main bulk of today's post. It's Fun Time Friday, ladies and gentlemen, so open up your mouths in preparation to laugh your faces inside and out! ROFLOFL. Here are some dance jokes...

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Knock knock.

Knock knock who?

Knock knock knock knock. I'm a 4/4 house beat. PMSL

< > An Englishman, an Irishman and an Indian fella walk into Panorama Bar. The Indian fella looks at the Irishman and says, "Paddy. Who let this cunt in? The Englishman turns around and goes, "Lads, my name is Jacob Lewis and I'm being paid by The Sun to write about Berghain in a really lame attempt at making the paper seem culturally relevant. I'm revealing how hard it is for some people to get in, even celebrities, about ten years after articles about how hard it is to get into Berghain became boring. I'm absolutely fucking depressed about having to dress like this and I wished I didn't have to embarrass myself for a living." LOLoutLOUD

< > What's the difference between Tonka and the rest of the dance music journalists? Loads. ROFLCOPPER

< > Everyone keeps banging on about saving Fabric. I've been saving fabric for years. My nan collects fabric and sews it...fucking hell. Sorry. I'm going to fuck off now because I'm bored.