My Tuesday Hotflush Post October 04, 2016 09:30

About yesterday. I'd had a rough weekend and my head wasn't in a very sensible place. When I woke up, I felt like I'd been forced to read the entire collection of Tom Usher VICE articles on loop for 48 hours whilst listening to Janet Street-Porter reading all of the long-form Space Closing Party Facebook posts from aging DJs on Sunday night after she'd had a stroke...on a Funktion-One sound system under my bed.

Imagine the horror of having to read about a young lad choosing to live in a Wetherspoon's for a bit or scrolling down a webpage and looking at zany, young hatebots talking about how many fights and blow-jobs they've had in a nightclub sex bog whilst Janet Street-Porter slurs the following from under your bed, on a Funktion-One (after she'd had a stroke)...

"There'll never be a eughhhhhhhh club like this eughhhhhhhhh again in Ibiza eughhhhhhhhh. Fritz used to eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh let me get up to eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh all sorts behind that eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bar. Eughhhhhhhhhhhhh. Midgets. Eughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Coxy in a toga. Eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Nineteen ninety six. Eughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

The horror.

Anyway. I'm better now, everyone. As ever, the amount of feedback and engagement with the people who read this, and follow me on Twitter, and Like me on Facebook has been heart-warming. Thanks, gang.


Note. I picked on Tom Usher because I'm actually a personal friend of his in real life and on Facebook, and I enjoy plugging the work of people I like - even though nobody ever plugs me anymore. Upside down smiley face. Tom is a fellow Phil Mitchell fan, drugs fan, football fan and a solid guy. I almost bought some drugs off of him last week, but Shabs from Channel 4 Drugs Live came through for me in the end, like he always does. Pink Hello Kitty. Nom nom nom. Thanks, Shabs from Channel 4 Drugs Live.