Tuesday means Tuesday July 05, 2016 09:30

If you got through yesterday's advert for Farm Festival (tickets available here), then I'll send you a massive medal.

Today, I'm pondering on why there is so much animosity in the animal kingdom. I watched a video on YouTube last night of a pair of fucking GIRAFFES knocking the fuck out of one another over a bird. I mean, a female giraffe, not an actual bird. Can you imagine a giraffe hanging out of the back of an actual bird? Doesn't bear thinking about, lads. Anyway, these two giraffes kept head-butting each other's necks, arses and legs until eventually the older one fell over. The younger giraffe then thought he'd won, and went to stick one last nut on his victim. The older giraffe moved his head out of the way though and head-butted the younger lads, I mean, giraffe's legs. The younger one fell over, banged his head on the floor and was knocked spark out.

The older giraffe was then able to rattle the female giraffe without having to worry about any other males knocking about and trying to muscle in on his action. I asked Draper why there is so much animosity in the animal kingdom and he said he didn't know.

Tomorrow on the Hotflush blog, I'll be putting the dance music world to rights yet again.